As is my life now, anything bridal I do can be completely random or unexpected, just as easy as it might be planned. I might be strolling down the street, on my way to Campisi's, and just happen to fall into a bridal store on the way. (Steven didn't know where I'd gone, but he found me soon enough gazing at tubed beading and Swarovski crystals... wedding to me is like pizza to him. it's just the best)
So needless to say, when my mom and I were driving down the 114 and saw a huge sign that said BRIDAL BOUTIQUE, I mean, how could we not stop in?! First Flag: it was in a strip mall. But the thing with being a happy bride is that I don't tend to see these things immediately. All I saw was a store filled with white... and happy people inside... and it's like the light to heaven... you just can't say no! So on this rainy, dreary day in Texas, we found an activity that will not only procrastinate my gym workout but we found an activity that will have multiple people telling me how beautiful I am while I excude happiness and love on a pedestal. (sigh)
We walk in and no appointment was necessary!!! (flag #2) A nice girl, we shall call her Amber, could have toned down the makeup and worn more of a figure flattering suit, but she was so sweet. She handed us a handful of orange clippy things and directed us to the area that would fit my rapidly shrinking "back side", if you will. (well, i told her it was rapidly shrinking, we will see) (we shall censor offensive words for my mother) :) The cloud I have been floating on seems to start to become gray and fill with some light showers, although I haven't sensed this yet... This was the beginning of what we now call The Good Will for Wedding Dresses.
I search and I search, and I search... do I just have unreasonable taste or is there really NOTHING here I like??? Searching for something I'd actually put on my body was like looking for a virgin at the Theta house! :) (kidding!) It was very difficult, but not impossible... I found 3 dresses that I would try, but only because my mother whispered in my ear "we cannot leave without trying on somethin.... come on Casey, it's not like you have to get one!" Ok, this mini pep talk led me in the direction of, Why Not? Let's OWN this polyester!!! (i will refer to said polyester later)
Amber takes the dresses to the back as my mother and I follow her... let me set it up for you... We are led to the back, visually directed by the crimson red floor runner, flanked by the 70's color gold surrounding carpet with a lovely split pea green wall and matching green accented flowers sporadically strewn about the floor. Oh. My. Gosh. This. Is. Bad. The room is smaller than my closet and they have actual mirrors randomly placed about the room that I swear they purchased on craigs list. ( I mean for goodness sake! they were on rollers!)
Amber ushers us to our room and says, "holler at me if you need anything". Well, the thing with the room is, there are no mirrors in the room and only me and mountain of white fabric can fit into this room! So here I am, half naked, outside of my room, with my mother literally under the Belle from Beauty and the Beast Dress (you know... the yellow one? yeah, i tried it on in white) just dying of embarrassment... and no, not embarrassment because i'm naked with strangers, but embarrassment because I am in this store. It was bad. We finally get the dress on, and i'm REALLY trying to give some positive words for Amber. "i really feel like a fairy tale princess, but it's just not the dress.." Amber says "Oh! don't worry! i know exactly what it needs!" What? what does it need? To be put into the secret incinerator in the back?! She comes back with some sort of hoop like skirt to "floof" up the skirt. ok, so... we are going for cake topper now... what the heck! bring it on!
Amber says, "well, we should've put it on first but don't worry, i have an idea". This is wear I start to lose it... my eyes teared up because sweet, clueless Amber, who REALLY wants me to buy this $150 dress, drags a FOLDING CHAIR over and tells me to stand on it! I know every single one of you reading this have tried to stand on a folding chair... now, try to imagine wearing the Belle dress with awkward dyeable shoes and toe hose and then standing on a folding chair. I swear, I am not kidding... I actually get on the chair, looking at mother with fear and terror while my new "friend" Amber gets up under my dress and then asks me to stand on one leg so she can get the floofy thing on!!! i start tearing up... i can't do this. But i must stay strong for Amber... (please remember that i am not the most, how do we say this, 'graceful' of them all... I frequently run into door frames, so balancing on one foot, wearing a wedding dress with a strange girl under my dress all on top of a freaking FOLDING CHAIR is just really not ideal...)
PHEW!!! we did it!!! i didn't die! So now we head over to the one pedestal in the store that doesn't even have a 3 way mirror. Wait, there is a line to the pedestal.. WHAT?! I have to keep this dress on longer!? OH! and look at that! Another girl has THE SAME DRESS ON AS ME! um, akward! I finally make my way to the top of the pedestal, take a look, and start crying... 2 other moms start clapping and say to each other.."oh! that must be The One!!!" I am in dismay... have they SEEN the dress on me?! its not good...not good at all... done and done... i head back to my hole of a room, drag my mother in there and just cry a little... I understand how this sounds but you don't understand. It was horrific. I can't even believe i put this fabric on my body. I could make a better dress out of dried up baby vomit... we check the label and sure enough, the dress is 100% Polyester. That's it. I'm out of here.
We tell Amber that I am not ready to purchase "my dress" and I will have to come back with my sister. (if anything, it would be really fun to go drink some champagne, wine and/or vodka and head back to the store... that would be worth it). Amber says "OH! you have a sister? Let me show you, before you leave, our 2 for 1 section!"
ok. I can feel that now you don't believe me. I swear on all the MAC eye make up I own, this is true... My mom and I can't leave without seeing this! She takes us to the back of the back and the deal is, Buy One Dress, The 2nd Is Only a Penny!!! oh sweet wedding god, what is this!? the dress aisles are so tight, I kid you not, I lost my mother. I could hear her, but I couldn't find her. It was like the Polyester just gobbled her up! Swooshing through the white, extremely flammable, fabric, I feel my moms foot and I make my way to her. I grab her arm, look her straight in the eye, and say "Mom. Out. Now."
Those were the last words we spoke that day...Until we discovered a fancy cake store that just happened to have a cancellation for a tasting... We looked at each other, hugged, and I just knew that we were back in the game.
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